My hiatus has been semi-intentional. Truth be told, my support system IRL has sort of collapsed. I’ve gone pretty internal when it comes to all things related to my eating right and exercise. And, in response to the Dr. Philesque question, “How’s that working for you?” It’s not. At all. I’m coming out of my self-imposed shell and coming back to the blog for support I’ve come to know and love. And the support I need now more than ever.
I wrote out a really long, rambly post with the details of my support system collapse, but I’m too nervous to post in fear of who might be reading.
Long story short, there’s someone in my life who was instrumental to getting me started on my healthy living journey and helping me along the way. This person has gone from being extremely supportive to being super competitive. “Anything you can do, I can do better.”
It hurts to hear someone who was once your biggest cheerleader now pointing out your trouble zones and all the things you’re doing wrong…and not in a loving , intended-to-help kind of way. I don’t even know if this person realizes that they’re doing it, but I have to learn to let it be their problem. It seems to be stemming from a combination of Type-A personality (which I can totally relate to), an extreme case of perfectionism (also something I struggle with) and jealousy. It’s not that I’m running around bragging and boasting, but it’s impossible to hide when a visible, physical change is the payoff for what you’re doing. I’m sorry, but I won’t apologize for putting in the hard work and having others notice and compliment me on the results.
Another blow came when, out of the blue, someone who goes to the gym with me very regularly told me they don’t like to work out with me. They told me I rush through the workout, it makes them flustered and then they quit before they’re finished with the workout. Coming from someone so close to me, this made me feel pretty down in the dumps. I will admit that I don’t mess around when I’m at the gym, but I had no idea that it was impacting someone else’s workout. I don’t want to stop working out with someone who means so much to me, especially someone who would rather not go to the gym at all than to go alone. Fortunately, I’m close enough with this person to have addressed the issue. After some thought, I told this person that we should continue to go to the gym together, but maybe try doing different workouts. They didn’t like the idea at first, but we’re going to give it a try and see how it goes.
Hopefully my abbreviated version of this makes some sense to you. Writing this has actually made me super excited about getting back to the blog and sharing my healthy livingness with all of you!
Do you ever find it challenging to balance support with competitiveness? How do you deal with this?